if a simple seed...

imago dei

Israel is commanded to not create images of God because they are suppose to be God’s image.

Making idols that are meant to be like God seems to defy God, ourselves, and each other.

New thoughts.

Lewis does it again.

I just finished Till We Have Faces (C.S. Lewis).
Orual discovers that her issue with loving Psyche (and everyone else) the way she does is selfish: she devours them.

Isn’t it easy to “love” people this way? It feels like love: the self-sacrificing, martyr feelings; it might feel satisfying or so extremely desirable that you’re convinced this must be good…

But let’s be clear: this isn’t love. Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not self-serving and it doesn’t boast. It doesn’t envy and it isn’t rude. It rejoices in truth. It bears, hopes, believes, and endures all things.

I guess this book was another mirror for me to confront the ways I actually love (devour) others sometimes.
Teach me how to love.

good tips when trying to hear my heart

csleeper:

“Rules for Self Discovery:

1. What we want most;

2. What we think about most;

3. How we use our money;

4. What we do with our leisure time;

5. The company we enjoy;

6. Who and what we admire;

7. What we laugh at.”

- AW Tozer

love life.

whimsyatteatime:

“First love is unrequited ultimately because it’s so huge.It’s such an act of giving and it requires so much back that it can never be given back. It’s like an atom bomb. It’s like… It’s all the energy of who you are and who you want to be and what you love and what you hope to be explodes. It is impossible for a single… human being to offer that back to you in a mutual way.”

—

Stephen Fry (Moab is my Washpot)

Hmmm. This is interesting. Funny how this came up…I was thinking along similar lines today. I don’t think this is exactly a bad thing, though.

It may be hard and painful losing that first love…(it is)…but I think it has opened my heart and eyes in a much more beautiful way. It taught me that one other person can’t handle all that energy of who I am/want to be/hope/etc. And when you don’t realize that, you tend towards crucifying them when they disappoint you. But that person you just crucified wasn’t Jesus and you are left looking for someone to embrace all that is you. Lesson #1: Jesus can/will/wants to do that. The other person is really, just another human—albeit, a lovely one. Also, sharing so much heart the first time has taught me how to love extravagantly (Lesson #2).

So maybe, after grasping Lesson #1, I am better equipped to live out Lesson #2 because the source of love I’m pulling from is inexhaustable.
It’s a process and the Lessons are incomplete/continuing…but I think this is how I want to live. I want to live free and whole. And life like that naturally spills over into extravagant love.

(Source: dylanism)

family.

family is a weird thing.

my brain is moving much to fast for my tired hands, so i’ll use shorthand and edit it later or something. bear with me.

spent near 8 hours in a car with kendrick and megan driving to and from ptown this weekend. what a lot of great conversation. also, i love that we can be silent and still feel comfortable. i trust them.
stayed with maddy and her family: love the ways our family shapes who we are—whether we like it or not. this reminds me that loving others is connected to loving ourselves; we are much less independent of our families than we’d like to think sometimes.
spent maybe 2.5 hours with hc and it felt so refreshing to see my sister. :)
spent maybe 4 waking hours with zach and was so thankful we got to hang out—if only for a bit.
spent the whole day simply being with kenny, megan, kenneth, and danielle. no plans, no expectations, no awkwardness… just hours of enjoying each other’s company. i am so thankful for them.

these friends are all my family.

immediately after getting back to my car at spu: capitol hill community.
i don’t have the energy or time to expand: john (silence and real); eli (new friend and grandma); cat & vance & dusty (expecting); kawika (guitar); ramone (lonely and reaching out); polly (grieve together and take care of one another); anna (shoes and gratitude); todd (“is this hard on you guys financially?”); dizzy (hard drugs-free); patrickless (prayer and light and brother); kasey+jesse+emily+emily+savannah+karina+everyone else (family sharing a love for God and these people).

family of God. the Kingdom?

and coming home tonight: my biological/legal family. we are a weird, dysfunctional bunch. but, like my friends and the community in capitol hill, we are a bunch of unique stories woven together in a beautiful way. we need each other; we are empty and useless without each other; we are better versions of ourselves with each other. and at the center (and really permeating the entire thing) is the LORD. thank you God for being relational; for knowing us and teaching us to seek to know—both You and each other. it helps us understand ourselves. thanks for redeeming relationships and weaving family.

praise the LORD, oh my soul!

the Spirit

Can I just say that God is awesome? I mean: unfathomably perfect. Perfect timing, perfect patience, perfect ways, perfect understanding… God knows just how to love me.

teach me how to love.

This weekend my entire family (Mom, Greg, Marielle, Jon, Chola, Grandma, Grandpa, Janeen, Hai, Maddy, Drew, Julie, Trevor, Abbey, Olivia, Nat, and Kacie) went camping. I am so blessed by them; how lucky am I that I love spending time with each of them?! We took over four different campsites and just connected them into a sprawling territory. There were sleepovers and meals shared, a huge game of truth-or-dare, birthday cake for Grandma, tons of sun and sand and crab, football and french-braiding… And the weather was pretty fantastic. The trail to the beach was full of sun-lace and the tree canopy was perfect. 
Being in the sun, on the water, enveloped in God’s absolutely beautiful creation, challenged and surrounded by people I love… Thinking about it, it was just right for what I needed. And God knew that.
 

Keep moving forward to tonight. I get on Facebook and what are the first few things I see?

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” Hebrews 12:28

These were just the things I needed to read to encourage+embolden my spirit and challenge+readjust my perspective.

Next I read a letter from Jocelyn and am reminded again of how important community and grace are. Plus, good conversation (more like a one-sided play-by-play) with Shea. Jesus MUST be at the very center of relationships. If He isn’t, they can never be entirely good.
(Which made me very thankful for the A-Team and this whole past year. This, I think, is what God was really trying to teach me this year…and I’m still forever learning.)

Christ, be the center of my life; be the place I fix my eyes.